Today I Lived

"Today, I broke down. I realized that I’m growing up and that life is getting harder and harder. I learned that it’s okay to cry and let out feelings once in a while, but it’s not going to get us anywhere. Life goes on and we can’t do anything about what happens. Things were given to us for a reason and God knows we can do it.

I felt like giving up. With so many things to do and so little time, I felt so stressed and pressured and I thought that I can’t do these things anymore.

But I wiped those tears away and believed.

I did not give up. I did not stop.

I CAN DO THIS. And you, yes you, who is reading this. I know you can, too.

Today, I got stronger. I learned that giving up is never a solution and that life doesn’t stop for anybody.

Today, I lived. And I know, tomorrow will be a better day."

New Year's resolutions

1. No meat (chicken and fish only)

This one might possibly be the toughest. No more In-N-Out burgers or potato balls from Porto's :(

2. No soda

I don't need any more cavities.

3. Work out at least once a week.

As opposed to going to the gym ONCE all quarter -___-

4. Stop getting butthurt so easily.

I don't want to be an annoying bitch anymore.

5. Stop complaining.

Kinda goes with the previous one. I'm a lucky girl, so I just need to STFU.

6. DO NOT PROCRASTINATE.

Who am I kidding? This one's a lost cause already.

I'll probably add on to this soon.

Christmas

Christmas Day is officially over. I know my mother would hate to hear me say it again, but it seriously seemed to be one of the worst Christmas seasons of my life. To start it off the month, the bf dumps me over the phone the DAY before finals. Then some more shady shit happens with my friends. THEN I get sick. And to top it all off, I wake up on Christmas day to find that I've gotten a gift from dear Aunt Flow...if ya know what I'm sayin. Oh and I've got another problem, but we're not gonna talk about that here hahah.

My mom actually got mad at me when I brought up how horrible this Christmas season has been. She looked at me with her eyebrows all furrowed like she always does and said, "Don't say that. You have so much to be thankful for."

She was totally right. I am so lucky and blessed to be living the life I am. My family always reminds me of this. Sure, lots of things seem to be going wrong at the worst possible time, but everything could be so much worse than it is. I've learned a lot from everything I've gone through, particularly this month, and I'd like to think I've become a better person from it. For that, I am very thankful.

yesterday & today

YESTERDAY:

Breakfast in Burbank

Hookah in Westwood

Sprinkles in Beverly Hills

Dinner in Burbank

National Treasure at Heather’s

TODAY:

Carl’s Jr.

Post Office

Yesterday was the business. Today, not so much haha.

But (500) Days of Summer comes out on DVD today! I might just go pick that up :)

what. the. fuck.

seriously, what the fuck?! how can i possibly trust ANY of you again? how can you all act like everything is okay when it's not? and then LAUGH about it thinking i don't have a clue. fuuuucked up.

i guess that's what you learn in high school - how to fake friendships and lie to those so-called "friends" so nonchalantly.

and since you all so kindly asked: no, i'm not okay.

thanks for the concern.

p.s. i don't know why i put up with this shit.

hahaha

As I was trying on crazy fierce heels at Forever 21, such as these:

I realized that I no longer have to worry about my height exceeding someone else's...someone who shall not be named, who is merely 3 inches taller than I am (I'm 5'5"). I definitely would have towered over said person if I wore these babies.

It made me laugh.

Shawty is a killa.

p.s. I want booties!

FREEDOM

Helloooo everyone! (Everyone as in you, Lisa, cos I'm pretty sure you're the only one reading this right now hahah)

I made this blog about a week ago (right before finals. I WOULD.) but I've been waiting for the right moment to post. If I had written something before, it would've been emo and stupid and completely different than how I am right now. So here it goes!

I'm currently in a weird state of mind. Weird isn't really a bad thing, at least not in this case. I'm just not used to feeling such an extreme sense of clarity. This weekend--particularly yesterday--was quite a whirlwind. I was a roller coaster of emotions to say the least. But I've found that the end of one relationship brought about the rekindling of multiple relationships which, in my opinion, are way more meaningful and worth-while than the one that came to an end. Usually I'd be moping around complaining about how much my life sucks (even though it SO doesn't) but I'm starting to realize that that doesn't help ANYONE, and sure as hell doesn't do me any good. I've since changed my ways (thank God). Instead of lingering on the negative of the past--or even present--I've started to think positively about all the possibilities that the future has in store for me. I know that sounds super cheese-ball, but I've come a lot further with this mindset and I've been harboring less regret because of it.

As for the clarity I'm feeling right now, I am now free from worrying about that stupid, stupid boy and the stress of finals. The next month will be completely dedicated to me, myself, and I :) But who am I without family & friends? I'm dedicating this month to them too.

Hey. It's Christmas season <33333